TankTheta"The weight of your dreams, your ambitions, are now more strongly formed. It's less of a monstrous mess, and more of a great titan. Instead of feeling the weight in your soul, it feels like it's lifting itself up. But it's still a great burden upon the body, it's weight threatens to shatter your arms. All you can some days, is lie down, and regain your strength. But it's power, it's a great one. It's your power. But it must be used wisely."
The original design was a bit of a mess (2nd image, rest are sketches). But fairly accurate to the mess that was my life at the time. So I wanted to define it more. Make it more symbolic to what it was meant to be. An insane man's ambition manifested.
I suggest you look at original The Vision Of Glory And Stars for context: https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/tanktheta/the-vision-of-glory-and-stars
You know, looking back at the previous piece's words, I remember it. It was the last few months where I tried to work on Thorne. I was basically the only one left doing so. But I was so burnt out, that it wasn't very much. I was barely able to pull anything together. A little while after it, I had to take a break, out of recommendation by a friend. Had it for more than a month and my ability came back. My ability to create animation, art, hell even code well. Gave me appreciation for the concept of rest. Even if I still don't apply it as much as I should. And I put too much upon myself then, blamed myself for the folly of others. I've learned not to let myself try and carry people when they don't try to walk.
Now I'm really enjoying myself. It's not agony to work on a game, it's fun. I feel proud of how far I've come. Seeing my skills refined, showing pieces consistently that I know are solid. I know I've done good.
However, I still have this overwhelming ambition. It's never left me, in fact even now I'm trying to go all out again. But also having to rein myself in constantly because I'm pushing the limits of my body. Especially my hands. I know a few days of rest wouldn't be the end of the world. But I don't FEEL like stopping. I'm creating so much, showing everyone what I can truly do. I want to keep going constantly.
And event this very piece, was made on a day, today, where I should be resting my hands. Even now, I'm typing and my hands ache. My body suffers. It's like it can't keep up with how I feel. I feel passion for what I do.
But as I said last time, Legends weren't born through the easy life, they were molded by adversity and hard times. But, I think I also need to remember and remind myself more, that rest is important. Even God rested on the Seventh Day. So I as only human need much more of it. And I'd rather not burn out before I achieve something great.
To me of just a year ago, I'm glad to see that my spark is still just as strong as before. That fire I got, is shining brightly. Now I just got to throw some wood on it more carefully.
Hope you enjoy this diatribe of mine.
2021-07-13 16:24:27 +0000