Cruoreye23. Reluctant caretaker
18. Exhaustion
Could be “The pain of two is one”, as well.
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“I hope you know I care.”
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(Enlarge for details.)
This was after Fiona’s death when Attarah went into a grief induced coma for a while and Inanis had an equally bad time not knowing how to help whilst blaming himself for what had happened (even though it was not his fault).
Attarah is here in his comfort cardigan from childhood. He also has a lot of sheep and lambs Inside at all times which are a great comfort to him. And anytime you see him wear the red ribbon in his hair, it is Fiona’s.
Attarah was not really responsive for some years after her death Inside, nor was Inanis very responsive outside, and it did both of them in pretty bad because they did not communicate with each other either. Inanis was fully convinced that Attarah was not speaking to him because he blamed him for Fiona’s death, but in fact he just could not deal with the loos and nobody blamed Inanis except for himself.
It took something that had never happened before for things to improve and Attarah to return; it took for Inanis to grieve as well. This is something he has recently shared after testing be quite intensely beforehand and I understand why that had to happen.
This was I think the first time ever I saw him cry. He is the one who is able to “turn off” emotions when Attarah becomes overly upset, and has hence always been suppressing them even when that was not necessary. He would claim he cannot feel anything, sadness nor happiness, but he can, he just never allowed himself to do so, as in his mind that would make him an inadequate protector.
Once he had a talk with David who was worried for him and reached a breaking point some years later, he starts to talk to Attarah, apologize, and also cry for the first time, which made Attarah talk back to him for the first time in a few years as well.
Do you remember that one drawing of Sirius walking and the bloody footprints they left behind, how plant life started to grow from the blood?
This is what happened with Inanis’ tears as well, life started to grow from them when they touched the ground.
They fall asleep together on the bed after a long talk and the next time he wakes, Attarah is fronting again years after.
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Atols - エンブレム (Emblem) ft. Meiko
Danheim - Lifa and Daudr (again, love this one, very connected to Attarah)
Forndom - Och med viden ack de gunga
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Had to have local anaesthetic administered for an oral issue (again) and it made me so vehemently ill that I could barely function yesterday. Still not feeling too well, headache and dizziness are still there and some nausea but not like yesterday, fortunately, so I think I may have to take it easy for a few days until this wears off fully. And until I feel a bit better from getting sick yesterday.
2023-10-25 14:11:18 +0000